


Tempus Fugit.

by springburn



Series: The Thick of It mini-fics [57]
Category: The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love, growing relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 05:54:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6362053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springburn/pseuds/springburn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malcolm is enjoying the simple things in life.......</p><p> </p><p>THIS STORY NOW FORMS CHAPTER THREE OF SHITSTORM.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tempus Fugit.

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS THE THIRD PART OF THE SERIES FOLLOWING ON FROM SHIT STORM AND REAL LIFE. 
> 
> It covers Saturday night, Sunday and Monday morning. 
> 
> As with the previous two parts it can be read as a separate entity. 
> 
> There is quite a lot of dialogue in this one, so I hope you won't find it tedious.

TEMPUS FUGIT. 

Malcolm's dirty shirt, underwear, socks and pyjama trousers were churning around in the washing machine.  
He was resplendent in his new gear, which were a surprisingly good fit. 

Shopping bags unpacked, sitting on a stool across the counter from Sam, sipping a cup of tea. 

Smiling to himself.

"Malcolm you're grinning like a loon! What's going on inside that head of yours?"

"That I'm a lucky bastard. And if you'd told me on Friday morning when I woke up with my face stuck to my desk, that this is what I'd be doing the next day, I'd have had you sectioned."

Sam laughed, but then her face turned more serious, she moved around to his side of the counter and stood between his knees.  
Her hands resting on his shoulders. Their faces close.  
Her voice was soft, earnest.  
She had such a gentleness about her, a sincerity, and it reduced the ice in Malcolm Tucker to melt water. 

"Real life.....that's what you said you wanted......I still say it's just life.......but it's whatever we make it Malcolm......and we can have this.......we can.......who's to stop us? Who's to even care about us? And who's business is it but ours?"  
She reached forwards to take his chin in her hand.  
"I love you......and little else matters to me right now......as for all the rest of the 'stuff'? It'll all still be there.......DoSAC, the PM, Number Ten, the press pack.....all that shit.......if you and I weren't there, it'd all still continue without us.....no one would give a monkeys after a couple of days. We'd be forgotten. Someone would step into our shoes......the new person to be strapped to the yard arm and flogged senseless would be, I don't know.....Ollie Reeder, or someone just like him......and PA's are two a penny. But we'd still have this......us........"

Her words pierced him, and his chin wobbled. Her eyes were focused on his, her expression kindly, warm, a slight flush to her cheek. 

He drew her close to him, his arms snaking around her waist, hands clasped at her back. Laying his cheek against her breast, slight wetness seeping through her blouse. She stroked his hair, petting him.

"You have to allow yourself this Malcolm. You have to feel you deserve it. You do.....why should you not have love? Happiness? A life? I'm here for you.......okay? But only you can decide what it is you want, and reach out to take it." 

He released his grip on her, looking up at her ardently as she looked down on him. 

"I want you. That's what I want." He whispered.  
"I want......this! I love this!.......  
......Fuck knows why you love me......fuck knows Sam......I sure as hell don't.......and I keep telling myself, I'm setting myself up for one hell of a fall......no.....don't say anything.......it's true."  
He held his hand up to her as she made to protest.  
"You've no idea what you're taking on with me sweetheart......I'm a complete fucking car crash......I've got more demons than the whole of the Book of Revelations.......what scares me most is that I'll hurt you......and I couldn't bear that.......that you'll smash yourself to pieces trying to break through to me......because you're so sweet and good and kind.......and I'm just a solid ball of fuck." 

Sam began to cry, quietly, listening to his bleak view of himself, how little self esteem he had. How vulnerable and insecure he was.  
Oh, she knew he had problems, but she didn't really know what they were. Nor understood the depths of them.  
Being with him would be a tough gig. But she'd known that all along. Loved him in spite of it.  
Would continue to love him. Hopefully would see him through it, and out the other side.  
Somehow. Together. 

"I'm stronger than you think Malcolm. I have demons of my own. Everyone has. They are a series of hurdles......and we jump them......sometimes we make it over, sometimes we catch a foot and fall.....sometimes we have to go back, and try again.....but in the end.....we get there. That's life, that's reality. It is what it is." 

oOo

They cooked together that evening.  
Music playing.....she warbling along, dancing around the kitchen, which made him laugh and that in turn, made her heart glad......he even joined in himself.......and Sam was surprised at his singing voice.  
Malcolm Tucker with a chopping board and knife, cutting up peppers and onions, Sam at his shoulder, stirring the pan.  
Paella.  
Pouring him a glass of wine, passing it to him, with a peck on the cheek.....which stopped him dead in his tracks. Made him blush, and become flustered......such a silly little thing.....but profound.  
She, washing a bunch of grapes under the tap, popping one into his mouth, as he concentrated on shredding and chopping a bunch of coriander.  
Seeing the look on his face as she did it........domesticity.........togetherness........he laid the knife aside, came to stand behind her as she stirred the sizzling pan, began nuzzling and kissing her neck......  
"Malcolm! Now? Seriously......!"  
Turning in his embrace, kissing him back , deep and with passion, pure bliss. 

Curled together afterwards on the sofa. He in charge of the remote.  
Channel hopping. Finally settling on a spy thriller. Lifting his arm for her to nestle beneath. 

Fucking wonderful. 

oOo

She lay in bed reading, listening to him in the shower.  
He was humming to himself. She couldn't suppress a smile. 

Emerging with a towel wrapped round his lower half. 

"Where are those pyjama bottoms?" 

"Kitchen......on top of the tumble dryer." She replied without looking up. 

He fetched them, then stood beside the bed and whipped the towel from around his waist.  
She glanced up, to see his naked form, turning the trousers, which had been inside out. 

He noticed her looking. 

"See anything you like?" He cocked an eyebrow. 

"Plenty!" She replied. 

And was rewarded by his prick begin to rise in response.

"I wouldn't bother with the bottoms if I were you." She said, opening the covers invitingly. 

He didn't need asking twice, tossing them aside he leapt into the bed beside her. 

There was really no doubt about it. Malcolm Tucker was an accomplished lover. Skinny he certainly was, but when it came to his equipment, skinny he definitely wasn't.  
He had a lot going for him.......literally.  
Knew how to use it too. Soon had Sam gasping and begging for him.........and he knew just how to touch her, bring her close, then reward her thoroughly. 

As their breathing returned to some semblance of normality, he rolled from her onto his back, with a satisfied grunt.  
"Christ Malcolm.......that was........amazing! God....I'm totally and royally fucked!"  
"Glad my old man hasn't lost his touch!" He said, patting his softening cock, with a chuckle.  
"I think you're 'old man' should be damn proud of himself!!" She laughed, turning onto her side and snuggling up to him.

They rested thus throughout the night, barely moving. So many days without proper kip caught up with Malcolm. He slept deeply again, something he very seldom did at home, and woke still entwined with Sam the next morning. 

 

oOo

They shared breakfast again, but in contrast to the morning before, they were both much more relaxed.  
How quickly they seemed to slot into a routine together.  
Chatting easily about the upcoming conference, discussing emails he'd received. Talking like any normal couple on an ordinary Sunday. 

No one would have guessed that for Malcolm, it was pretty much the first time in years that he'd done this. 

As predicted, it affected him profoundly......again. 

The weekend so far had been one massive emotional overload, and Malcolm was in serious danger of imploding. 

He was sitting at the counter staring blankly into space, where Sam had left him when she went to dress.  
"Malcolm.....put on your coat......we're going out to get some fresh air. You can't stay cooped up here all day."

"I've got to work on my conference stuff......on my laptop." 

"You can do that when we return, come on......we'll have a walk for an hour, stretch our legs, grab a coffee, then you can come back and get on with your stuff." 

It was a chilly day. But bright.  
They walked, her arm tucked through his, close. Then his arm went around her back, tugging her closer still.  
Amazed at how good it felt, just to see her looking up at him, smiling.  
Buying hot chocolate from a stall in the park.  
Sipping it, blowing off the steam. He with a chocolate moustache, which he tried to lick off with his tongue, she giggled at his efforts, before she reached up to wipe the remainder from his mouth with a tissue. 

Just at that very moment, a familiar voice came from beside them. Shattering the moment into a thousand pieces.  
"Malcolm? Is it really you?" 

Sam could not believe the change that came over him, as he turned and saw Julius Nicholson standing there.  
His smile faded instantly. It was not embarrassment he betrayed. It was anger. He was annoyed. His whole body language altered. From relaxed and happy, to tense and uncomfortable.

"Julius!" He said tartly. 

"And the lovely Sam!" Nicholson held out his hand for her to shake. 

The three stood facing each other for what seemed like an hour, but was actually no more than a few seconds.  
Malcolm's eyes blazed.  
Sam wasn't quite sure whether to pretend it was all innocent, or if she should just say 'stuff it all' and front it, or whether she should keep quiet and say nothing at all.  
She and Malcolm had not discussed how they would deal with their relationship in the work environment, or with work colleagues. 

"A pleasant day for a stroll!" Nicholson observed, with thinly disguised amusement. 

"It is!" Malcolm responded lightly. 

Sam watched him closely, hoping to gauge him and go with whatever he said or did.  
She marvelled at how quickly he mastered himself. His eyes flashed with quick intelligence, the anger gone.

"So....what brings you out this fine morning Julius? Looking for rough trade?" 

"Now Malcolm, you know I only have eyes for you!" 

"Ah! Sadly, you're too late my friend! There's only one person who has access to my perfect arse." He glanced sideways at Sam, who smiled cheerfully. 

"I should have known I was wasting my time. But a fellow can dream!" He replied. 

"Well, as pleasant as it is to stand and share gay banter with you, Miss Cassidy here and I, have work to do for the conference in Brussels.....some of us have to work at weekends as well as in the week.....so we must get back to it!" 

"Ah.....the Director of Communications never sleeps, eh Sam?" He simpered. 

Sam smiled sweetly, holding his gaze steadily. 

"That's right!" She replied. " Day and night......I'm quite exhausted!" 

Malcolm's eyes twinkled with amusement now. 'That's it sweetheart, keep the old bugger guessing' he thought. 

"But she keeps me young......don't you sweetheart?" He continued, perpetuating the joke. 

"You're such a jolly jester Malcolm. There's nothing between you two! Miss Cassidy is far too good for you, and far too sensible!" 

"Why Julius! You've caught me out! You're too clever for me! Come on Sam, let's get back.....we have boring stuff to do......but if you're really good, I'll let you give me a blow job!" 

Julius frowned in mock disgust. 

"Oh! You're so good to me Malcolm." She responded. 

They said their goodbyes and walked away, side by side, but before they were out of sight Malcolm reached out and took her hand in his. 

"This'll give the old poof something to think about!" He grinned, looking down at her. 

"That was quick of you, to cotton on, and follow my lead." He said, as she let them both into her flat once more. 

"I hoped I got it right. I wasn't entirely sure where you were going with it! Whether you minded him knowing or not." 

"Oh everyone'll find out quick enough. I don't give a fuck anymore if I'm honest." He replied. 

oOo

Malcolm settled himself at Sam's dining table with his papers and laptop, and proceeded to beaver away conscientiously.  
Sam began to prepare dinner.

He found it most comforting to hear her in the background as he worked. Glancing up from time to time over the top of his screen he watched her moving about in the kitchen adjacent to where he sat.  
The easy grace she had, the way her hair fell forwards and she tucked it behind her ear. Her long eyelashes, her ready smile......fuck!

The weekend was passing too quickly. 

Malcolm felt he was no longer the same person who entered that flat at six o clock on the Friday evening. 

So much had happened. 

He realised with dismay that he was not looking forward to Monday morning.  
Nor was he looking forward to leaving later and returning to his empty home, could he contrive to stay the night again, and go into work from hers in the morning?  
He had all he needed. Sam had washed his clothes. 

Chin resting on his hand, he fell deep into thought.  
Glazed and far away.  
Unaware that she had come over with a cup of tea for him, and was standing behind him, silently. 

"You don't appear to be doing much work!" She said eventually, when he made no sign of moving.  
He jolted out of his reverie, and blinked up at her.  
"Are you stuck.....or just distracted?" She asked, placing the cup beside him and leaning down to put her arms around his neck. Her face next to his, cheek to cheek.  
She kissed his ear and he tried to turn his head towards her.

He was in so deep.......he had no powers nor inclination to fight it, not anymore. 

It had been so long. So, so long. 

"Distracted." He murmured. 

"Tell me." She whispered, moving round the front of him without relinquishing her grip, she sat sideways across his lap. 

Malcolm sighed, gathering her in. 

"Thinking about tomorrow. Thinking about going home tonight. Going over the fact that I've been here all weekend. And it's been so fucking brilliant."  
She stroked his cheek gently with her hand. 

"What about tomorrow? You worried?" She asked.  
"Because you don't need to be. We either carry on as if nothing's happened, so no one knows, or we stick it out there for all to see. It's a simple enough choice, and I'll go with whatever you want to do." 

"Fuck if I know! I don't want to fucking pretend Sam. I don't want to hide behind the bike sheds. We're both consenting adults, and it's no one else's business what we do."

"I don't want to pretend either. But I don't want to compromise your position in any way."

"There's nothing written that says I'm not allowed to date....as long as the person is security checked.....and well.....you already are! You'll get a load of stick though....and I'd protect you from that if I could." 

"Stick? Why should I get stick?" 

"Come on Sam......the age difference, the fact that I'm renowned as being the miserable fucker that everyone abhors.....and you're beautiful and young and a smart cookie......someone's bound to give you a hard time." 

Sam scoffed.

"Let them! As if I care what anyone thinks. I wouldn't even have worked for you if I'd listened to what other people said. Fuck the lot of them! It's you I love, not them!" 

She paused a moment to let her words sink in. 

"You going home tonight then?"

"I should. Don't want to."

"Then don't." 

"Fuck it all Sam....I'm just delaying the inevitable. You know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking that I'll leave here and it'll go all fucking Hogwarts on me.....vanish in a puff of smoke....like I've been dreaming and it's back to reality, I'll wake up. The whole weekend, all of this.....it'll just fade away. I'll see you at work and we'll be like strangers. And it's doing my fucking head in!" 

He looked so desolate, pained. His face sharp and pinched. 

There was pity in her eyes, and she leaned closer and kissed him with all the tenderness she could muster. 

"You poor fucked up bastard!" She murmured. "Does that answer your question? Stay tonight. You have clean clothes. We'll grab breakfast on the way in, and we'll travel in early....together. We're a team now.....I love you......I love YOU Malcolm Tucker! I am in love with Malcolm Tucker.......and I don't care who knows. It's not going to be a smooth ride Malcolm, I know that.....but if we never try we'll never know." 

He leaned into her and closed his eyes. 

"Fuck it all Sam! I've had a taste of this now. It's like a fucking great carrot dangling in front of the donkey. I just want more. I don't want it to end. It's like I've seen the other side of the fence and I just want to stay there. It's been creeping over me gradually over the last year or so, what a complete load of shite my life is. I don't have a life. Just work."  
His hand twisted a lock of her hair, playing with it in his fingers.  
"Friday night something just fucking gave.....it was like a festering boil, waiting to burst.....and it just all came out. I'm so fucking solitary, so alone, all the time.....I have nothing.......not really, and sharing THIS......"  
He gestured around himself.  
"With you......it's been a fucking revelation Sam.......like something I gave up on years ago, when my wife fucked off and left me. When my whole existence went down the fucking tubes, and I built up my walls and I hid behind them.......and it's just got worse and worse, until it's out of control........."

Sam rubbed a hand across his head, through his hair, down to the back of his neck and held it there, causing him to close his eyes with bliss. 

"Malcolm, you are not the product of your life, you are the cause of it. You've shut yourself off from all forms of human contact.....from love, warmth, tenderness......I'm amazed you've lasted as long as you have, without the need for therapy, or pills.....or something. No one can exist like that, and remain sane.......it's so destructive. Underneath it all you are a sensitive, loving person, who has a deep and profound need to feel wanted, to feel secure and loved. It's written in neon above your head."  
She placed a kiss on his furrowed brow.  
"I saw it in you straight away, from the first day I met you. I didn't fall in love with you then, but I saw that you desperately needed a friend, and I contrived to make myself into that friend. And how did you respond?.......I was the one single person you were pleasant to! You would bollock everyone else.....but never me. The more I did nice things for you, like bringing your coffee, taking your dry cleaning in, the more strongly you reacted to it. Do you see that now?" 

Malcolm's eyes had widened as she was speaking, as the penny dropped and it dawned on him, that he'd fallen in love with the only person who was ever kind to him. Fallen in love with absolutely no hope of reciprocation, in his own mind.  
A hopeless love, a love which would have been doomed to cause him nothing but pain.  
Every single day, as he worked alongside her. Punishing himself on a daily basis. 

"Fuck. I'm such an idiot." He breathed. 

"Malcolm, you're human. You fell in love in spite of yourself, and I fell in love with you against the odds. You're older than me, you are not really my type, you can be abrasive and childish, but love didn't seem to mind that! It was going to happen at some point. Turns out you are just what I was looking for, I found myself comparing you to other guys I met! And they just didn't measure up! That's when I really knew. Then I had a real struggle on my hands.....because I knew that somehow I'd have to make you see.....make you understand.....and I knew it wasn't going to be easy!" 

"Christ Sam. What a fucking mess. How can you even love me? I'm broken, I'm fucked up. I'm just a complete arse spray." 

She kissed him again, thoroughly. 

"You're deep, sensual, giving. You're honest as the day is long, you have integrity, humour, warmth.  
You are capable of profound and lasting love, commitment, you throw yourself into everything, balls hanging out, gung ho, nothing held back......all or nothing, regardless of whether or not you'll be hurt. You're brave, generous, heartrendingly adorable.......a girl is in real danger, Malcolm....need I go on.....?" 

"Fuck! Am I all those things?" 

"Yes Malcolm. That's why I love you." 

"I don't have to go home tonight, do I? I can stay......go in together in the morning, like you said." 

"Absolutely. You can stay whenever, and for as long as you want to....." 

"Fuck! I'll never go home then!" 

"Real life Malcolm......right now I think you need to get on and finish this press article....or you'll be for the chop and I'll get the blame, for turning your head!" 

"Shit! Yeah, fuck!"

"Relax....silly, I'm kidding.......you have plenty of time yet. Dinner's on, we'll get an early night. I'll set the alarm for five fifteen." 

"And you'll hold me......close......like you did last night?" 

'Bless him......he needs it so badly,' she mused. 

"Yes Malcolm," she said, smiling, running a hand through his hair and mussing it. "I'll hold you so close and never let you go......ever.......you're mine now!"

"Fuck! I don't think I've ever felt like I was anybody's. Maybe my mother......she loved me, when I was a kid.....I guess.....but my wife? Nah.....I wasn't hers, and she wasn't mine......it just wasn't the same.....but when you hold me.......it's......it's different. It's like a force of nature.....and I need it. I love it. Sorry if that makes me clingy. I'm not being clingy am I? You'd tell me......?" 

"Malcolm......cuddling someone and liking it, isn't being clingy! And if it is....then I love it too.....you can be Velcro! It's nice!" 

oOo

Rain beat against the taxi window, as it sloshed through the early morning London streets.  
Malcolm wiped at the condensation with his coat sleeve and peered out mournfully. 

This morning his stomach felt as if it contained a bag of squirrels.  
He sat back and puffed his cheeks.

Sam's hand closed over his and gave a squeeze.  
"It's okay Malcolm. It'll be fine!" She looked into his pale face. 

"Time's gone so quick. Wish we had another day......or two." 

"Malcolm, you're going into work. Not to your own execution!" 

"Yeah! Sorry. Another day at the fuck office." 

"And no different to any other." 

"Wrong there Sam. Everything is completely different. Might never be the same again. Not for me at any rate." 

Sweeping into Whitehall, the cabbie pulled over beside the security gate. Malcolm fumbled for his pass. 

"Well. Here goes. Once more into the breech, dear friends, once more!" 

She leaned in and kissed him.  
"Love you. Now go and be magnificent!"  
They stepped out, Malcolm paid, and they passed through the police cordon.  
Once inside, Malcolm had barely removed his coat, before he was summoned upstairs for a meeting with Tom.....more crap for him to mop up......it was just after six am.  
"I'll get you a coffee for when you come down." Sam took his hand, pulled him close, kissed his mouth forcefully. "Go get 'em Tiger." She whispered.

Any fear Malcolm may have had, that once the weekend was over, everything would somehow disappear and fade away, proved completely unfounded. 

Seated in Tom's office, with other cabinet members and civil servants, his phone pinged.  
He drew it out and glanced at it. Breaking into a wide beaming smile, that the others didn't fail to notice.

 _"Don't take any shit! (Insert poop emoji with eyes) Twat the fuckery out of them, set fire to tears!_  
_(Insert a row of crying faces emoji's) I fucking love you Malcolm Tucker and don't you forget it! (Insert row of heart emoji's)._

Malcolm glanced up to find the others looking at him curiously. 

Fuck.....he was toast!


End file.
